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I've often thought that fortune cookie insert writers have the best job in the world. Not only do they get to make up stuff, but a good percentage of people who read them, tend to believe what they read. What a chance to inspire! What power! Any ambiguous or nonsensical positive statement would suddenly become a person's carefully hoarded secret power to carry them past obvious slights and through the mundane.
I could write something nasty, say: Your boyfriend was right, you do need plastic surgery or Yes, she was telling the truth, you aren't that great. If I'm in a good mood, I could say: Your inner beauty shines brighter than the sun, You are hotter than Saturn, or Someone admires you.
Here is what I would write today if I were to insert a message into a cookie and serve it today:
Hot tea and a warm fire would bring you comfort today.
Nothing to contradict common sense, but because it was in a fortune cookie, someone somewhere would act on my advice. I wonder what would happen if that cookie was served in the middle of summer?
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